Welcome to SR!!
I have a 16 year old daughter who can be a complete troll sometimes. My husband and I joke that we should be drunk EVERY DAY, lol.
First, I'd like to direct you to the thread "Moms (and Dads) that drink". Its a pretty cool way to talk with other parents about recovery stuff.
Second, I know you know this, but I HAVE to point out that your drinking may be contributing to your sons behavior. If it isn't then at the very least, he is watching and learning from someone (you) some self destructive behaviors!
I can relate to the gumdrops and lollipops state of mind that these teens have. Its so frustrating!
You came to the right place for support.
I'm glad you're here!