Ahhh...validation. My hole to fall into every time I try to talk with my now R-AH. It's a deep, jagged hole full of bitterness, anger and resentment. Will he ever truly be sorry for his behavior? Probably. Will I ever get validated for the amazing strength I possess for putting up with his BS, probably not. *BIG SIGH*
I am learning that validation comes from me and only me (and my higher power, too!). And I am learning that writing that "never to be sent" letter and re-reading it everyday helps the anger dissipate a little each day. Hoping for the day I wake up and don't feel anger at all; just compassion for the man that I love. Then I'll know its time to move forward.
Let yourself be pissed off - break something if that helps (I broke an entire set of wineglasses on my concrete garage floor. They were headed for Salvation Army anyway). Go exercise the energy off. Put that energy to good use and it will help you feel better.
Take good care, and know you are amongst a lot of people here dealing with their own anger and disappointments. You are not alone.