It's not easy to walk away from the Dr's when you know it's so accessible. I had been kicking for about 3 weeks when I came up on my scheduled appointment, and had a tough time making that call to cancel. The worst part was driving past that office everyday to & from work, but I was committed & I didn't want to return to my personal prison. My CT detox was awful from an 8 year 500-1000 mgs/day habit, but I did get through it & so can you.
Now I'm at 136 days clean & I'm dealing with life as a human being again. It seems impossible at first, but you can do this & it's well worth it. Stay strong & use any means necessary to help (SR, NA, AA, etc.). I use this board & NA to help me in my recovery. I don't ever want to return to active addiction.
SH