Originally Posted by
lillamy 
That's where I was, initially, after leaving, and that's sort of where I would like to end up again. Not because I want to drink -- I don't really care about that -- but because the way I'm feeling now, it's like I'm still allowing his alcoholism to determine how I live my life, if that makes sense? It's not the alcohol I'm missing, it's feeling like I make my own choices independently of him. I don't know if I can explain it?
Oh I totally get what you are saying and you are explaining it very well.
How I made peace with it was that I really enjoy sitting with a friend once a week and gossiping over a nice bottle of red! I really really look forward to that 'me' time. And I just thought that AH had sucked and robbed so much enjoyment out of my life already, I wasnt going to let him take that too and I was going to enjoy it GUILT FREE thank you very much!
Actually Lillamy it was very empowering for me when I was able to seperate my enjoyment of wine from his need and abuse of alcohol.
Maybe it helped also that he hated wine! I dont know if he would have drank it if there was nothing else, because I never kept it in the house