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Old 01-22-2011, 01:20 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
lillamy
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A friend of mine died a few years ago, with obesity related problems. But I didnt stop eating french fries!
That may sound a bit flip, but what I am trying to say is, just because somebody decided to abuse something doesnt mean the rest of us should not be able to enjoy it in moderation as intended.
That's where I was, initially, after leaving, and that's sort of where I would like to end up again. Not because I want to drink -- I don't really care about that -- but because the way I'm feeling now, it's like I'm still allowing his alcoholism to determine how I live my life, if that makes sense? It's not the alcohol I'm missing, it's feeling like I make my own choices independently of him. I don't know if I can explain it?

And Tuffgirl, I totally get that "am I an alcoholic, too?" thing. I'm pretty convinced on a rational level that I'm not (given that I can't even remember the last time I had alcohol... yeah, I had a beer some time around Christmas... before then, I think I had a glass of wine in August...) but emotionally, I'm still carrying the insecurity. And we had the same thing going on with "because you sometimes drank when I did, you're an alcoholic. And I'm not."
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