Oh, and let me add: One of my kids had a friend over for dinner one night, and I brought out a pitcher of iced tea and poured myself a glass.
The friend (who's 8) asked, "Is that wine?" -- and I was floored. I thought "who on earth keeps wine in a 1 1/2-gallon pitcher???" and I was so relieved when my daughter answered: "No, that's iced tea. My mom doesn't drink wine except at communion." I think I somehow needed that reassurance from her that my kids can see the difference between me and their father and that I am not, in fact, an alcoholic. I'm just a bit messed up in my thinking after 20 years with a spouse who is.