Have any of you out there just quit drinking alcohol even though you are not an alcoholic, because you have born witness to the damage it causes? I used to love a good microbrew. Now its hard to sit with a drink in my hand and not have flashbacks to some horrid experiences.
I'm always iffy about talking about alcohol here because I'm a codependent and therefore worry about sending one of the As on the board into drinking by saying something positive about alcohol.
But I wanted to comment on Tuffgirls quote above. Because I struggle with this, too. Before I met AH, I used to have the fixings to make any of a whole slew of drinks at home, usually some 12 bottles of wine at any given time. I drank rarely, but I liked being able to offer someone a mixed drink or a glass of wine when they came over (I had an active social life and entertained a lot -- lived downtown and people would often stop by and chat on their way to a night on the town or after work.) I'd have a glass of wine while fixing dinner on Fridays, never liked the hard stuff.
I liked that. But post-RAXH? Seeing not only what
his drinking created in the way of hellishness, but also hearing the stories of the mayhem other As create, not only do I not want alcohol in the house -- I can't enjoy a glass of wine anymore. I think another part of it is the transfer stuff he used to do (he wasn't an alcoholic, but he thought I drank too much. Which I know is laughable, but he had me worried, then). But it's more than that. It's hard to describe, but it feels like inviting evil into my body and my soul. I live a pretty healthy life, but I make my share of less-than-healthy food choices -- but that's different. I can enjoy a greasy burger or too much pizza because it's not my everyday fare. But I can't enjoy an alcoholic drink anymore.
I don't feel particularly sad about it. But I feel like it's not a choice I'm making actively. I just can't enjoy it on any level.