I don't think you should have to "reprogram" yourself for something like this, this is your personality and how you feel.
I agree with this, in part. But only in part. If this issue is bothering YOU, if YOU don't like your behavior and want to change it (which, to me, sitting on this side of the pixels, it seems like you do, or you wouldn't have written a post about it), then you do need to figure out how to change it.
The qualifier here is "Are you happy with your behavior?" If the answer is "No, but I don't know how to change it," then seeking out either a therapist or a group somewhere (AlAnon or ACA) where people can help you change it will make you a happier person.
If the answer is "I'm happy with my behavior AND I'm fine with the consequences of my behavior and I have no desire to change it," then the above quote about accepting who you are holds true.
During the 1970s, a book came out called "I'm OK, You're OK." What a load of rubbish. The idea was that if everyone just accepted who they were, the world would be a wonderful place. Well, many/most alcoholics are perfectly fine with who they are, their behaviors and the consequences of their behaviors, but I would posit that it is a far cry from being "OK". The longer term problem of this book is that our culture developed this idea that we should all just accept who we are and not try to change ourselves.
Speaking as someone who's been in therapy many years now? I call BS. I was not okay with who I was. I hated some of my behaviors. I hated the way I treated people. I hated the way people treated me. And I couldn't figure out how to change it - until I went into weekly therapy for multiple years running. Now? I'm Ok with who I am most of the time, I'm OK with my behaviors most of the time, and I'm OK with how I treat others most of the time. The rest of the time? Well, that's why I'm still in therapy
