codie101,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. Methinks you are a smart cookie.
You sound like you're freakin out a little
No worries, we all do from time to time.
You lucky duck...you are on the verge of discovery. It is exciting and frightening.
Sometimes being able to name something is a whole heap of relief.
Go to Al-anon. Come to SoberRecovery. Read whatever you can/want to.
Don't get into a new relationship.
See ya around