In some ways, it's not such a bad tradeoff. I know it took a lot of pressure off me (once I got used to it, lol) for me to turn my first husband (now sober 31 years) over to people in the program instead of my feeling it was MY job to fix all his problems and build him up when he was feeling down or upset.
And the intensity does generally let up gradually as the alcoholic becomes more solid in his or her recovery. Life gets more "normal" again. There were still times when I would resent having to be home at a certain time with the kids because he had an AA commitment, but I valued his sobriety enough that it wasn't that big a deal. The imposition was a pittance compared to the chaos of living with an active alcoholic.