Originally Posted by Tuffgirl

It took me 8 months to acknowledge, 6 months to gather the courage to give my AH the ultimatum, 1 day to walk out, and still working on acceptance. It's the acceptance that seems to be the hardest part, but the one I know is most important. I can't have a relationship with my AH in any way until I accept my reality; today and for the future. 3 weeks into a separation and I am finally relaxing on those symptoms of unmanageability listed in the quote above. Each day is a new day, though. And the person I am being easiest on is myself. After two years of chaos, I think I deserve it!

But acceptance, forgiveness, and control are hard things to rationalize and overcome when its been the pattern for so long. I understand that now. You'll get there - but it will take time for you as it seems to take for the rest of us out there. I want things to change RIGHT NOW in my heart; but I hear my head telling me to relax and take it one day at a time.