These are obviously behaviours that used to signal to you that your wife was drinking: your brain picking up on the subtleties of her behaviour and preparing you for what might come.
That was a good and protective thing that your brain was doing for you. Six months of sober isn't enough time for your brain to decide that these trigger behaviours no longer mean what they used to mean, however you can notice that your brain still "prepares" when one of these things happen and then let it go. Perhaps journal it? explore on paper what is making you anxious, and where that comes from.
I don't think it is about control, it is the hangover (sorry!) of your brain/body's protective mechanisms learned over time in a difficult situation.
One of my "triggers" for massive anxiety is people keeping their coats on in the house: ludicrous, right? I got really anxious and tried to make them take their coats off, asking nicely, then again, then pushing them to take their coats off - behaving like a complete lunatic.
I had to sit down and examine why I get anxious with this behaviour. EXAH keeping his coat on inside was a signal of a certain level of drunk that was particularly unpredictable, my brain subconsiously realised that this was a signal behaviour, was letting me know things weren't good and was preparing my body for action. Because it happened so often, my brain created a short-cut: coat on in the house: get the adrenaline pumping.
Of course this doesn't apply to my children or friends, and once I realised what my body/brain were doing, and understood where it came from I could let it go instantly as it appeared.
This short-cut isn't a sign of me relapsing into control-freakery, or an underlying personality issue, maligned spirit or sickness, it is a sign that my brain and body are working exactly as they are supposed to in order to protect me.
But I don't need it any more so I can decide conciously to remove it.