It's a rhetorical question, really. It just never ceases to amaze me how quickly I lose composure over little tiny things my wife
does or doesn't do.
- If she misspells a text.
- If she's late home from work.
- If she stays up too late.
- If she's in the bathroom "too long."
- If she doesn't answer her phone.
- If I don't know where she is.
- If she sleeps in.
These are just the tip of the iceberg in terms of things that normal people do that completely freak me out when she does them. Six months without a single sign of relapse, not even a hint of it, and even one of these things elevates my heart rate and I start mind-f'ing myself.
Now I understand what all the oldtimers were saying when they said that sometimes they are tougher to live with sober. Except for one thing-- she isn't tougher to live with; I am.
She didn't do "it" my way when she was drunk, and she doesn't do it my way in recovery either. God damn it.
Cyranoak