Merrily Merrily Merrily Life Is But A Dream.....la la la
Hello All!
How's life in the Land of the Living?....LOL....ya ok.
You know, I've read and heard a lot of "normal" "being normal". What the H#LL is normal? Who says because "sober" people don't drink they're normal? You know, EVERYONE has "something" they struggle with. Why is it, that us alkie don't think we're normal? We have "something" we have to deal with, that doesn't make us "abnormal".......my thought for the day.
I am NORMAL, very normal. I just DRINK TOO MUCH!! So there.
And how does that reflect on my feelings for today...LOL....who knows. I'm ok today.
I've have a "court order" to see a councellor, to keep my @ss out of jail because of too many DUI's. So this time I'm seeking a medical discharge. I'm forced to go to the meetings and seek counselling. Anyway, Neil (CASE worker) wants me to write everyday about my "feelings" (oh brother) on why I would possibley relapse....LOL. Ya Hello....done that a few times. I can't tell him though because he told me IF he thought I would he'd send me out to Henwood for how ever long. I can't afford that, so I lie and say everything is ok. It is......somewhat I suppose. So I go for my sentencing Sept. 10th, and Neil comes with me to tell the judge I've been a "good girl" doing whatever he says. Neil writes the reports, because he's the expert. He's my ticket to driving in Sept. and not getting another criminal charge to my record. So, I do what I have to do. For me though, really. I am wanting and ready. I'm just typing one of my stories right now.
Get this too. When I had my first appointment with Neil, he did this medical evaluation of my "problem". To find out how serious it was, or if I was b-s'in him. I answer the questions and he tallies them up. On the "medical scale" of alcoholism if you score a 4 you need to address your problem before it gets out of hand. A 5 is YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, and you better do something about it, NOW. Guess what my score was...........LOL.................go on guess...........
I'm thinking, well I'm here in this office ordered by a judge I must have a problem, so how about a 6-7 I'm thinking right. WELL HOLY F$CK, he looks at me with this look of sympathy, I don't know I can't even explain it but he says, "In all my years of councelling the highest score I've seen is a 48 and that was from a 50 some odd year old man, YOU my dear score 37, considering how young you are and being a female, this is quite a concern.".......Good God! Can you believe that? Then he says, "There is a difference Christine between "pity" and "sympathy" I have sympathy for you." Blah blah.....
Well, that's that for today Friends. Just doing my "feelings" journal
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Have a FAB day!
Peace Out.
Christine