Welcome Ethan, I have read a great many sites (this one daily). At the "Rational Recovery" site, on the home page, the first sentence states: "No family can survive addiction of even one of its members. Addiction is a black hole that consumes all of a family’s finances and emotional resources, and then still demands more." That _really_ hit home with me. No matter how much you try to "moderate", or change from vodka to wine to beer, etc., _eventually_, you will be right back where you were and soon sliding even deeper. There is just No happy ending. I did the same thing you did, it started earlier and earlier. I got very sick last November and have been stuck in my home since then, I had stopped for months but I was so bored, I "decided" a little drink now and then would help pass the time. Suffice to say, I was _Amazed_ at how fast I was back to drinking pretty much all day to "pass the time". I could see the writing on the wall so once again, I put the bottle down and am getting over it. I figured best do that now while I am not working so when I do go back to work, I can be a fully functioning human again :-) No matter how bad the craving, just tell yourself (sternly), Ok, a drink would be nice, but... no, just not _Now_. Since it's always _Now_...... You get the picture. Hang in there, come here often! ..Mike