Dignity,
it wasn't until he finally had to do it alone that my husband "did it". He did it for about 8 weeks "white knuckle" and then reached out to his mother and asked for help to pay for counseling.
I think that each of us does the absolute best that we can at any given moment...as they say....when we know better, we do better. There are steps that I am willing to take in regards to my son and then others that I know that I'm not there yet. Thank heavens for Alanon and SR though....it really helps.
Keep me posted on how things are going for you.....you will all be in my prayers.