As a mom of a teenager that is smoking pot I'm beginning to understand the pain of parenting someone that is involved with drugs. It definitely is a different experience for me and can only begin to grasp the magnitude of these experiences.
One thing that gives me hope is that my husband eventually found sobriety after 20 years of smoking crack and a total of 35 years of using other drugs as well. His situation was as hopeless as you can get and somehow how he was able to string day after day together to get to where he is now. Unfortunately, he doesn't work a recovery program so he's not a particularly pleasant person to live with...but he is sober from drugs and alcohol.
He will tell you that one of the main reasons that he had such a long run was because of the way that his mother enabled him. She couldn't bring herself to make that final step (not paying for the cell phone...just in case he could call and multiple other ways in that same vein). He believed that he always had her as a safety valve. She did it out of love but truthfully, that love contributed to his near demise and not his seeking sobriety. Maybe he would have stayed out anyway but I know what he says about it. He takes a pretty hard line about all of that kind of stuff now. She did help him tremendously when he decided to get sober - she paid for a lot of counseling. Per my husband, THAT was money that was well spent.
Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you.