Originally Posted by
AlmaLibre 
Okay, so, I do a lot of reading on here. And my heart goes out to each and every one of you. And I admire you all for the battle you keep fighting to stay clean.
Among the things I've read, there is a lot about going to NA meetings. I've never been to one. I think they would help me because at least I'd have some kind of structure in my life and some guidance.
Anyway, my problem is that I am shy (by nature, was born and will most certainly die like this) and have always felt awkward around people. That isn't the reason though. See, my teeth are now jacked up from getting high and the Methadone. I'm so used to being able to smile as a way to approach people, but now it's just awkward because I only smile with my mouth closed and when I talk I'm always making sure my teeth won't be seen.
The thing is, I'm so self-conscious about this and I know I'd feel so embarrassed and awkward around all those people at the meeting. Forget about getting up and talking in front of everyone. That to me is a panic attack just waiting to happen.
I don't have the money to get my teeth fixed yet so I'm stuck.
I'm sure this sounds weird, but it's what's been on my mind. I don't talk to anyone, besides my mom, about this because it's a sensitive subject for me.
I try to look at it as another thing to learn from, another obstacle to overcome, a battle scar. But, it's definitely holding me back. I won't even look for a job because of this.
Well, as always, thanks for letting me vent. It helps a great deal.
you wont have to stand up in front of anyone, dont worry about that kiddo.
People in the meeting sometimes cry, they sometimes fess up to other addictions (like porn) some people have trouble reading, some stutter, some have bad teeth, some have good teeth ,some talk about being molested, some talk about the voices they hear or the stuff they see..
my point is, I have never seen anyone bat an eye at anyone else, no matter their appearance or what they've done, or haven't done, because we have heard it all and seen it all.
There is nothing new under the sun, in those meetings.
I too am painfully shy, but I still go.
Heck you or I could walk into a meeting buck naked and the people in the rooms would be scrambling to get us clothed, because they care.
Don't worry, just pick up the phone and find out where the meetings are.
Or -pm me- and I'll find out for you.
I was a mess when I went to my first meeting (5 years ago) and everyone made me feel very welcome
