Pie111

Hello
I'm new on here, a friend referred me to it and actually realised I'd seen some of the threads before just by putting into google search "subutex recovery". Basically, I got with my bf nearly 5 years ago, he promised me he only used subutex which I know to be true at the time. Unfortunately, some of his friends pushed him out of his only social circle, having moved to live with me and so he became bent out of shape on heroin, again! I tried everything including physical violence to get him to listen to me but to no avail. I finally started using and did for 3 years using his subutex script to come off if I took it for too long.
I have now been using subutex on and off for a year and a half without ever being clean completely. I tried last summer to come off and think I reduced to quickly 8mg, 6mg, 4mg and 2mg then 2 weeeks off hell with 3 kids to look after. I finally caved in and ended up back at square one!
I have now been off heroin for 4 weeks and bf is currently in a clinic drying out having swapped H for alcohol due to come out tomorrow.
I am now on 2mg subutex a day and have got the fear about H and at present don't feel like I want to ever take it again ( I know never is a dodgy word here).
Bf has said hes going to score when he gets out, I'm terrified! He's going to dry out at mother's once out of clinic but wanted to stay at mine for a few days, pick up his stuff then go. I have been supportive about this until the last few days I have just got the fear as I know I'l find it hard to say no if I pick him up and he's scored.
A friend has said he can stay a night at his. I will stay safe and clean I think and hope tomorrow. I want so much to get off subs and think im doing well so far.
I would like to talk to peeps who are in a similar situation with subutex and thinking bout withdrawing completely or already have.
Thanks for reading my post, and so glad this website is here! Cheers