Welcome to SR
Keep posting and reading.
There is much wisdom here in the threads and sticky at the top of the forum.
Reaching the place of not caring is a good place to begin accepting him as he is and taking care of yourself and the kids in the best way you know. It is a good time to make the changes that will accomplish both.
It is lonely without support and you will get that here as well as at alnon meetings. Things have a way of getting twisted. Meetings and support (which you can get here on the forums and in chat) will help you to keep things realistic.