Heroin robbed me.
After 17 years of being on and off of heroin (mostly on), I am now starting to wake up, realize and feel the damage heroin caused. Well, let's be honest, I caused. I can't blame heroin, since I'm the one who decided to use it.
Anyway, I've been on Methadone for the past 5 years and have tapered down to 3 mgs. after being on 100 mgs. But, now everything I had suppressed for so long while getting high and even on Methadone is starting to get to me.
I lost my little brother 9 years ago. I thought I had dealt with it, but I feel like it's brand new. And it hurts so bad. I'm also thinking of the life I could've had if I hadn't wasted my best years getting high and not giving a crap. I'm 38 and although I was in 2 serious relationships, both for 7 years, nothing came of it. We were always chasing the high, so I never got married and never had kids. I'm worried because I'm starting to feel like it's too late for me.
I don't mean to rant about my life. I do see the good things though, at least I'm not out there messing up anymore. It's just that now that it's time for me to pick up the pieces, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Anyway, this is my very first thread. I've read a lot of your posts on here and am just blown away by the love and compassion you all have here for one another.
Well, I hope to get to know you all. You are an awesome bunch.