Be honest with the people around you about what you want, specifically, in a relationship. If you want them to call you once a day and talk for 20 minutes, than tell them so. Think about what makes you happy. Think about the actions they can take or avoid to give you the happiness they mistakenly think they are giving you by their acting "normal". Ask them what you can do, specifically to make them happy. Compromise. Infuse those situations where you are feeling smothered with humor instead of rebuffing the person in a rough way. If you can, try to think that when people are treating you in a smothering way, just translate that in your brain to mean "they love me and are trying to show it". Letting people know what you want and need makes it much easier for them to give it to you.