Like everyone else I can not advise you what to do. Your son is young but at 20 can make his own decisions..right or wrong. I wish I had found this iste when my son was 20. Surely would have helped me get to where I am alot faster. I'm sure you ,your husband and your friend can decide on what root to take here. I wish you all serenity as you go through getting your lives back on track. Its not easy..thats for sure.