For years, my parents and I butted heads over their enabling of my 32-year-old AD. It's difficult to say the least when all family members are not on the same page.
It is possible to love a child to death. I watched it happen where I live over a period of 25+ years.
They made sure their daughter was never without...always had a place to live, food on the table, transportation, and paid for over a dozen rehabs. They financed two different businesses that she ran into the ground over her cocaine addiction.
The last time I saw her alive, she weighed maybe 80 pounds sopping wet. She was only 50, but looked 70. She had lost all her teeth. She had numerous health problems. She died a few short months later.
Her father had been deceased for many years, so her mother was the one who got to bury her.
I know for me, decisions based on fear (ie, the addict will die if I kick her out) have brought me nothing but more pain and insanity.
I kicked my AD out many years ago after giving her a place to stay temporarily. She's a clever girl, and has managed to survive without my assistance. She's never been homeless for more than 24 hours.
I no longer attempt to control what she does/doesn't do. I no longer take a front row seat to her addictions.
I sleep well at night knowing I have placed her in God's loving hands.