Originally Posted by
hopeless2day 
How do you get past the obsession of the first drink?
I have been attending AA meeting, when I am there I feel at peace, but once the next day starts the thoughts of drinking hit me, and hit me hard.
I always say, I will drink today and not tomorrow, but it never last.
My sponsor says to keep hitting meetings even if you are actively drinking.
I think I may just have to fight through it for a period of time, work the steps and let my HP guide me, but I am very hard headed.
Nice to be here
"we are without defense against the first drink...."
"lack of power is our dilemma...."
there are many more lines from the AA Big Book that I can throw out there for you, but I will come at you experientially, and that is in the past, whenever that obsession hits me I am gone. There is no calling a sponsor, no playing the tape through to the end, no running to a meeting, no 90 in 90, no coffee commitment that will save me-- i tried it all AND FAILED.
I had many reasons to stop drinking; loss of job, family kicking me out, loss of girlfriends, poor health-- my mind always took me back to the drink though.
A great promise in our book is When the Spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally (no longer get the obsession) and physically (we wont put booze into our body which sets off the physical allergy b/c we no longer will suffer from the obsession)....I had it wrong the whole time-- my belief was that I came into AA, i should get my life together on the outside and then everything would be okay. The truth for me though is that when I come into the Fellowship of AA and just attend meetings and dont drink, my alcoholism gets worse-- it is in my face from the time i wake up, i am restless irritable, full of misery and depression etc etc etc...and i get so sick in AA coming to meetings and not working a program I have no choice but to drink because the only solution that ever worked for me (alcohol) is a better option than "not drinking and attending meetings"....just going to meeting does not treat a real alcoholic's alcoholism. If it did AA's success (recovery) rate would be 100%!!!!
The alcohol is just a symptom. If alcohol was my problem, I would stop drinking and my life would be okay. Lack of power-- that is my real problem. I cant drink successfully, I cant not drink successfully and I cant be happy on my own power. So whats the solution to lack of power?---POWER-- my experience has been that I have GREAT POWER now as a result of doing the 12 steps. I am no longer powerless...i no longer suffer from a mental obsession to drink alcohol....i no longer suffer from the symptoms of untreated alcoholism...i am a free man.....it doesnt mean i dont have problems, but it means i work my program and am able to handle them and face life successfully.
Sorry for the long-winded post, but i would ask you where you are in the Steps? Has your sponsor explained to you the seemingly hopeless condition of alcoholism (Step 1)? the Solution (Step 2)? and the plan of action to get rid of the things that block us from the solution (Steps 4-9)? I would challenge your sponsor on these things-- and if you have a clear first step that your life is on the line, you should be able to move through this process with a willingness you've never had before.
Good people here to help you too....please ask any questions you may have...
God Bless