Sorry you are feeling so confused you are not alone I am in the same boat as are many. I really have come close on a couple of occasions of telling him to leave, and I found out about his addiction only few months ago. I have read on this site many times people with much more experience that when enough is enough you will know. I am finally feeling not so frantic about it and just taking my time making plans. I want things to be in order if I decide we need to separate.
Also you do not have to believe in God to go to a meeting. I would like to tell you I do go and do not agree with some of what is stated, but still get some understanding from it. I also go to a counselor every week which has helped a lot. I have also read so many articles and information online to educate myself.