I have a hard time with calling alcoholism a disease. When I was new and started doing step work (I have since slammed my foot on the brake with that) I was pointed out by the "long timer" that I used the word weak or personal weakness over and over. He told me that I wasn't weak that I was powerless. To him this seemed like a good thing. He compared alcoholism to diarrhea. Saying that the person who has it cannot stop it from coming... so its powerlessness not a weakness because no matter how hard you try... you can't stop it. I had so many objections to this analogy, but as a new guy just played along. As for blaming actions and words on alcohol... I've done and said things that were completely out of character. I didn't mean what I said or did, but the action of consuming the alcohol willingly puts the blame right back on myself. I take responsibility for what I did when I was drinking because I put the booze into me... not a disease. Alcohol is more like a horrible relationship than a disease. I was infatuated with "her" and "she" wasn't worth my time, but it took her taking advantage of me, stealing all my money, and making me act irrationally before I got out. Powerless over a disease is scary. A weakness that you can strengthen... much more positive for me. Best wishes.