I will buy into the fact that you are conflicted. BUT idiot??? Not even close. I hope you can hang in there..Just think ahead to hangovers and having to deal with all the stress with a hangover hanging over your head. Nobody wants that. I get really worried about people thinking of stepping out for a mental break. Some think there are always 2nd chances to sober up again. Your children need you. Heck we need you. Hang in there.