"...constantly talking about how my parents are the real ones to blame and how he's trying to "help me" work through things and why won't I just recognize that..."
My Ah has never been physically abusive. He goes straight for the soul. If I had a dollar for every time my AH, in his boozy wisdom, claimed to know more about my thoughts and feelings than I do, I could walk out of here tomorrow and buy myself a new car to drive into a new life.
I know how much that crap can hurt. It took me so many years to understand that it was an alcohol induced insane person yammering at me. Sometimes I still forget.