I cant speak from experience of long term sobriety but this thread is really helping me understand how evil and cunning this disease is - 4 days ago I was feeling so very very ill I knew I would never drink again and then, yet again, once I feel slightly better the demon in my head tells me I have to drink again - ive not got back to making myself ill but I kind of know I probably will and now I am back on it again I dont want to stop - I was soooo scared of this happening to me again and determined I wouldnt let it - I feel like I have been possessed - it just takes a split second thought in my head to make me go back again. Sorry to not be positive but I felt I had to share - I want to come back to this thread when I feel strong again to remind me how easy it is for even those who have had years of sobriety behind them to let it take over again. I just dont know how to even get started properly. Good luck to everyone the only bit of wisdom I can input is that I know how very very hard this disease is to kick.
D x