It also helps me to "play the tape all the way through." In other words "what would happen if so-and-so thought I was wrong?" Or "what if my mother didn't approve of my decision?" Or "what if that thing I said was the wrong thing to say?" When you really take it to a logical conclusion--does it matter? Usually, the answer is no. All these things that we think are so major, are really minor in the grand scheme of things.
I've been dating the same guy for over three years now. We are very committed to each other and monogamous, but neither of us is really interested in moving in together or getting married. This drives my friends and family crazy. All the questions. When are you two going to "take it to the next level?" Through this, I've learned that those other people are having anxiety about my choices because they don't conform to their ideas of "how it's supposed to be." But, I am perfectly happy right where I am. Once I realized that, and stopped trying to do what everyone else thought I should be doing, I stopped second-guessing my reality.
L