I've had to come back to this a few times and am struggling to put into words what I mean, so if this is confused, please forgive me and skip over it!
I guess its about trusting ourselves. If I trust that a decision is right for me, I don't have to justify it to others, and I can allow others to have different thoughts and feelings about my actions without thinking that invalidates my relationship with them or that they don't trust my ability to make my own decisions about my life.
I am getting better at not needing everyone else to feel and think the same way about my decisions as I do. There have been points in my life where I "needed" everyone to validate my actions not only in what they said to me, but also in how they felt and thought internally too. If they didn't, or I even thought they didn't I was an anxious mess. Which is madness. Needing other people to validate my choices in that way caused me a lot of intense pain, and at one point got to the point where I "needed" complete strangers to agree totally with me about everything, otherwise I felt judged and lacking. Obviously it is impossible that everyone will feel and think the same way I do, even about my own life.
So given that I've had BIG problem's with caring what other people think in the past to the point of being ill with it, I'm trying to come at this sort of thing with the following outlook at the moment: someone offering a different opinion or slant on things isn't an attack on my personal integrity, ability to live my life or necessarily a control move, I can choose to take that information, try and step back, mull it over for a while when I'm calm, process it to see if it applies or is something I haven't taken account of and build it into my decisions or not as I see fit.
I, and my dependents, are the only ones who have to live with the consequences of my decisions so I get to make those decisions and the only person who has to be happy with them is me (and to an appropriate extent my dependents).
Choosing to see all advice/opinions/thoughts/feelings shared with me as a gift, given freely, and one that I am free to use in receipt how I choose, rather than an action against me, or an invalidation is helping me hugely, and relieving me of a massive burden.
I'm not suggesting you have/or have had the same problems I had with this, and I don't think I've explained it very well, but I thought I'd throw it in there for you to look at.