Originally Posted by
MamaDuck101 
I am not looking to control him that is not what I meant at all. He THINKS I am trying to control him, and there is a difference... I can only control myself, I would not even want to try to control an addict.
I tried the same things. He always insisted that I was trying to control him and I always denied it, but I realize since he has left that I was extremely controlling of him. It always backfired, and then it would just cause more stress because I had this expectation that I could control how things turned out. Not just drinking and drug related things, but everything. I would make rules and force apologies and they were just like a slap in the face when they didn't work. He said the same things about stopping drinking anytime he wanted and that he didn't want to or need to. He has been gone a month and still doesn't think he has a problem.