Rancher

My wife is an alcoholic. I'm ready to leave her but I'm troubled by one important issue.

Her ex husband is also an abusive alcoholic. My own understanding of my wife's alcoholism was clouded because I spent years helping to protect her and my two stepdaughter from him. The court system largely protects them now, but it came at great cost, both money and time.

Now that I know my wife's own alcohol problems, I'm ready to leave her. Her problem has systematically cost me almost everything - work, friends, and family.

My only pause is my stepdaughters. In the absence of their birth father, I have become the only father they know. However, legally I have little to no standing to have any custody rights.

I have to leave, but I want to protect them as best I can both physically and emotionally. I don't want them to think I've abandoned them.

I've been such an enabler for my wife that the girls align with her. I've worked hard not to expose them to ugliness. I can't do it any more.

I also worry that my leaving will lead to their father trying to disrupt their lives through court battles. He's very litigious and very wealthy.

Is there any way to let two young girls know that I love like they are my own even though it will seem to them that I have abandoned them?