sofacat thanks for reminding me. i really have learned that over the last 2 years. i dont believe a word out of his mouth, but i do believe, in my gut, that some of his actions, are leaning towards recovery, he is just still white knuckling it with others, it seems like he wants to sometimes, but doesnt have to put the effort into it so he doesn't, which is why i think it will be good to move out let him try it on his own and see what happens, the worst that could happen is he sells our yard sell decor furniture......that's all thats left in the house.