Sounds like you're in a pretty good place, for balance.
So long as we focus on our own balance and what is acceptable to us for our own life and our childrens' environment, the decisions are much more clear.
When we get sucked into thinking from the addict's "distressed" point of view, it gets tempting to start shifting our own boundaries and re-negotiating with ourself what is acceptable. (In my experience, lying seems to be a big step - when one starts to accept the little white lies, it opens up the floodgates to unacceptable other behaviours. IMO the other big one is focus-shifting - turning the central issue into something else and pushing the raw facts of addiction and recovery into the second tier of importance.)
Addicts seem to instinctively know this, and pull out all the manipulative stops ("you're not supporting me enough," "you aren't showing you love me," "you are abandoning me," "I'm trying as hard as I can," "I miss my kids," "I need my family to be able do this," etc., etc.), to pull your heartstrings and twang on the guilt, but if you are focused on your bottom line and your childrens' bottom line, it becomes more clear what to listen to, and what is posturing.
CLMI