findingpeace,
remember the statement you made when you changed your name from wifeofadrinker?
did it make you feel empowered?
i think some of us go kicking and screaming ("clawing") when we know what the truth is but just don't want to accept it.
damnit.
it's tough, and we all have to proceed at our own pace.
i hope you find peace very soon. you sure deserve it.