Originally Posted by
HusbandwAW 
I still love her, and may want kids if she can get well. Should I move out for a month to see what happens? To give her a glimpse of life without me? Me or the booze, choose? I wish she could get an non-bar job, but she needs the money to pay off the debt. I am close to supporting both of us with my paycheck, and that was the plan once we were going to start a family. On hold for now. Her job gives her some confidence, she is a very good bartender. If she quits, what does she have? She will feel like a failure. I have tried to encourage her to go back to school for journalism (something she is interested in). But no motivation. Fear of failure in school again.
Thank you,
AJ
Perhaps it will help you to get feedback from a recovering alcoholic. Your wife sounds like me 19 years ago when I was active. I had a very close relationship, long term, with a wonderful man who sounds like you. He used logic to try to figure me out
The bottom line is that we alcoholics are self involved, self-centered in the extreme, we have enormous egos and low self esteem and a lot of grandiosity. The love of your life has only one real relationship and that's with the bottle. It's convenient to have a generous soul in our lives to enable our drinking, so we don't have to deal with consequences. We aren't very concerned about that person although we're expert at saying we're sorry and acting like we do.
This was me, thank God not in a long time. You have to decide if you want your life to center around an active alcoholic. I sure wouldn't.
Yes, people recover, they do have useful, meaningful lives. But no one can predict who will get sober, who won't. Please do not even think about having a child with this woman while she is active.