thanks again for all your replies it has made me feel loads more positive this evening. im hoping for a new start again although i have said it so many times. i have tried lots of other things before to help me stay sober like ant abuse and campral and years of counciling etc but never worked so hopefully if i put more effort into aa and work it i will be able to get and stay sober, its going to be hard but its better then drinking every day and would love to get my self asteem and confidence back as i feel like rubbish and worthless at the moment, well i have for years. and would be good to get get my looks back as im looking very drawn and getting yellowish eyes and feeling very deppressed when i dont drink i have no motivation.