Originally Posted by
SashaMB 
As far as moving out for a month to get her to see the light, I think that's a manipulation that's unlikely to work. The 3 Cs of addictions are:
You didn't Cause it
You can't Cure it
You can't Control it
If you move out with the goal of getting her to change, that's a losing proposition because she's not going to change until she's ready. And even if she decides she's ready she is the one who will have to do the work to get, and stay, in recovery.
I have begun to notice subtle manipulations on my part, and I feel bad about it. I really appreciate your post, and I have also come to the conclusion that I can't fix this problem and can only be there to provide support. It is hard to watch someone you love making bad choices, especially when you know that you will have to deal with it later -- She is in agitated state on her way out for a night with girlfriends. What am I to do? I sit at home dreading the inevitable. I think, maybe I should get a hotel room for the night so I can sleep and not be forced into a drunken late night argument. I can't tell her not to go out, not to drink. Gave up on that over a year ago. The bizarre thing is that we can go on a week long vacation to Hawaii, have wine with dinner and everything is great. The problem only really occurs when she is at her bar or out without me...