Originally Posted by goldengirl3

I was having some thoughts today about selfishness. At the end of my relationship, I can 100% say that I got nothing out of it and I felt like a slave, a prisoner.

I was being manipulated for money. I stayed sober a lot and drove "us." I was being emotionally abused. We couldn't even go out to a restaurant that I liked when I was buying. I couldn't even watch a tv show for myself. He was always selfish but it was not so extreme in the beginning.

The selfishness on his end was crazy.

We went to counseling for one session together. The counselor had called him out on a few things saying he didn't see how I was considered. My ex stumbled, he couldn't figure out what to say.

I assume that everyone else here has found the selfishness just as baffling as me. I just don't understand how someone cannot see how unreasonable they were being. My counselor said, "He cannot "see" you. He can't see outside of himself."

Part of me wondered, when you are in a relationship, both parties have needs and wants. You spend time doing things each other wants or needs and some time on your own. Is it that this person expects their needs and wants met just like you and then spends the time that would be spent on you getting drunk? And so during that drunk time they aren't in reality to be aware of what they are doing? Essentially there is "no time" for you? Or is it just brain sickness that goes with alcoholism?

Anyone else care to share their thoughts?