Hey Dime,
If a BPD diagnosis is recent that might actually be a good thing. Treating BPD is a bit different than treating depression even if the symptoms are often similar. Maybe a new course will prove more effective at bringing your mental health up. I have been taking meds for years, but I count the therapy I was getting specifically for BPD to be much more helpful myself.
It's frustrating when loved ones do not trust us or reconcile with us in the time we want. I'm sure that in AA you probably have heard a hundred times that it'll happen if/when they are ready and you can't control it--doesn't make it not frustrating though.
One thing that I have often struggled with is a kind of impatience. I hate waiting for unpredictable outcomes. I get so stressed out over the possibility of a bad outcome that often I will just force the bad outcome to happen so it'll be over and done with. That kind of sounds like how you're handling your family? You want them in your life, but the stress of the uncertainty makes you just want to shut the door yourself?