A big Thank You to everyone who has posted. We started up again this morning--him telling me I "have to" give him another chance and me telling him there are no more chances. I told him I wanted to separate, and when he asked me why, I told him there's no point in talking about it. I had given him all my reasons already and they weren't good enough for him. But, I had figured out that they'd never be good enough for him, and that doesn't matter. They're enough for me.
He threw everything but the kitchen sink at me--"Your parents are divorced--remember how much that hurt you?"; "Alcohol is out of the picture now, the roller coaster ride is over"; "We owe it to those two kids in there to try again"...
He continues to be in deep denial, and says things like, "It's okay. I have enough faith in us for both of us. I'm strong--I can wait." He alternates between anger, tears, apologies and pretending that nothing is happening at all. But, I have moved into the guest room for now, and as soon as we close on the house we're selling (Jan 28, God willing), I can take the next step. Coming here and reading all your encouraging words has helped shore up my confidence.
I know there's no magic solution, and any path is going to be difficult, but I know I can come here again and again for reassurance and support, and that means the world to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! :o)