I still get glimmers of the guy I love with my AH, but our arguments about his drinking are very similar to yours. I truly believe they cannot get better without real help. If they are not willing to get help, it will be more of the same.
And I have the stories to prove it.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
It's just awful. You want to get back to where you were - with the guy you love(d?) .. but these relationship discussions and drinking talks get so tiring. Mine actually says, "If you want me to stop drinking entirely, then leave now!"
Oh, okay.
It sounds like you are at a stalemate and waiting for something big to make you leave. Maybe all these discussions rolled up into one can be your big thing. I appreciate your stories - I so know what you are going through.