Everything I have ever let go has had claw marks on it?
yep me too, LOL, I don't give anything up easily. we go at the pace we go, I really wasn't sure I was doing the right thing calling time until after I'd done it, when I found that the relief of finally having made that decision was a joy. Not having to go back and forward over it again and again and again.
The upside to taking my time, trying everything, is that I have never once regretted doing it. My stbxAH is who he is, I am who I am, we don't enhance each other's lives, and the compromises I made were both painful to me, denying my basic needs, and were not reciprocated.
I am left with the regret of not doing it sooner, but that for me is overwhelmed by the happiness that the decision is done with now. If you feel you are stagnating, you can choose to change that, to move forward in whatever direction, at the pace that is right for you.
and yes: prove it.
FWIW my ex didn't want the marriage to end either, even though he often berated me for many aspects of my basic personality and behaviour, and knew that I was unhappy about his behaviour. He used this as a weopon, how he was willing to accept me as I was with all my faults and still loved me, whereas I was too demanding and unwilling to compromise. The truth was the exact opposite, I compromised my arse off, I examined, over-examined and tried to change all the character traits that he identified and disliked (but still loved me despite of, lucky me, LOL), he changed nothing for any length of time, just talked a good talk.
((FP))