Awareness is power.
I think after reading that
it's wonderful to see you examining your role in it.
WHat you contributed to it's ongoing-ness...
and now it's raised a question for you to answer.
And I think your post is your first attempting to answer that.
I've learned a great answer for being told this one:
No! I'm not some terrible, f-up, he says.
I can do anything I want, he says (I can quit any time, in other words)
It's two simple words:
"Prove it."
Works every time.
Yet I've never seen one get up and quit, either.
But the sentence never comes up again.
These things hurt.
they're just going to hurt
until they don't hurt
and nothing is more simple than that.
But we don't have to remain stagnant
while someone else is destroying themselves.
I think you're coming to that place
where changes start being made.
And that ... is a good thing.
That's a growth thing.
Taking ownership .. is a huge step.
huge.
Be glad for that.
And it's what we hold onto
until the pain lets up.
And each other.