Conflicted..
I'm feeling very conflicted over this step 1 business.
I guess I'm questioning the "powerless part".
Sure I may be powerless, but rather than having had power taken from me I feel like I'm freely giving it up.
Is it the same thing, if it might be the case that i'm choosing to be powerless?
I feel like my life is more unmanageable without drugs. That's why I do them, too much power, too much responsibility, so I'm happy to give it away for a break...
Idk on the other hand part of me says it's something I need to admit, but Idk how much I trust that part.
I just don't want to lose Ben (bf), or my job.