I did the exact same thing. People talk about hitting the bottle much harder during relapse but that was not my experience. Once I did my first sober stint (3 weeks in March) I kind of half assed drank for months afterwards but never with the same enjoyment/intensity as I used to. I was trying to moderate, I guess and doing a better job of it than I had before but realizing that it was not REALLY possible and definitely not enjoyable.