Hesitation exists for just about everyone at first, and even long into sobriety. Some people go through enough trauma that they lose all doubt, but not all do. I myself do not 100% want to not drink ever, but I've learned to manage such feelings into sobriety.
The opposite side of "do I really want to stop drinking?" is "do I want my life filled with all these negative consequences?" It is very normal in addiction to believe that the second question can somehow be put aside, that somehow addiction can be made into something that is always pleasant. It's normal, but it also makes no sense.
Like if I could hear someone say "isn't there someway I can smoke two packs of cigarettes a day and not wind up with lung cancer?" my reaction would be to call that insane, but when it comes to my own drug use (alcohol) I have a harder time seeing how pointless it really is to want to separate all the good from all the bad.
Carol is right that it often takes a lot of false starts, I had many, but in enough time you do start winning the battles and sobriety takes on a sort of momentum where it gets easier to keep it going day after day.
Day ones are always better than day nones. You can do it.
