I can just say from my life experiences of me and those I know, not neccissarily even involving alcohol..many times one person (often the woman) has cried, begged, pleaded, told the partner over and over they can't live like this, take it anymore, etc..they tell partner they are leaving..partner is SHOCKED..why didn't you say anything..I didn't know,etc...1st partner is DONE feelings are dead, they are exhausted and over it..2nd partner is just now starting to understand that there is a REAL problem.
It's ok to be done, even if he now does every single thing you ever dreamed...sometimes it is just too late